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May 21 2018

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I’m so pumped that I can design patterns now! I love how this backpack turned out. You can get it (and a lot of other things!) via lizardkween.com! 🌵🌵🌵

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Now the newspaper in Chicago, they tracked down the real J.J Bittenbinder and he has some issues with your memories…

This little asshole keeps getting into a bird feeder, so we need to test how small is *too* small




3 inch opening: no problem

2.75 inch opening: Easy

2.5 inch opening: doing fine

2.25 inch opening: Bit of a struggle, but as Mr Meeseeks says: CAAAN DOO!

2 inch opening: Alright, lets try chewing the opening a bit, As long as we get the nuts into the mouth (huhuhu) we good I guess…

Uh-oh… Steve is getting greedy

:insert grunts of effort here:

Taking a break…

The guy who made the original video decided after a long struggle to help Steve out.

A New Challenger approaches!

1.75 inchs: Quote Mr Meseeks: “OOOHHH HE’S TRYING”


He ends up giving up.

Source: Chris Notap - Squirrel ● literally ● bites off more than he can chew ! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sS4ach0CwN4

via imgur


I love it

What I learned is that I am not the only person who calls all squirrels Steve

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Keanu Reeves in Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989)

Reposted byhashtytekNayu



(while being escorted off of the set of a cooking show) What do you MEAN deadly nightshade isn’t an “allowed ingredient”?

(I unveil my desserts: a gingerbread cookie shaped like each judge.)

(The first chef eyes me with disdain and bites into one.)

(The second chef immediately screams in pain, the third in horror.)

(I am once more escorted out of the competition.)




Keep reading


the houses as lines from john mulaney’s kid gorgeous

gryffindor: “In high school, people were like, ‘What are your top 3 colleges?’ I was like, top 3 colleges? I thought I would be dead in a trunk with my hand hanging out of the taillight by now.”

hufflepuff: “I don’t care for these new Nazis, and you may quote me on that.”

ravenclaw: “Like years later, I’d be going down on some rocking twink in college and I’d be like, ‘Wait a second… What would Leonard Bernstein do?’”

slytherin: “I would never say that, not even as a joke, that my wife is a bitch and I don’t like her. That is not true. My wife is a bitch and I like her so much.” x

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apparently computers do dream of electric sheep

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In the Americas, anyone can be anything they insist upon. New name, new life. That’s a place a body could be happy. What the fuck is happy? Fucked if I know.  – American Gods, “A Prayer for Mad Sweeney”

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Have you ever retired a human by mistake?

Blade Runner (1982) dir. Ridley Scott

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Warszawa, 05. 2017

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astronaut witch

Reblog if you say "Y'all"

is this it
is this my legacy

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Chanel Spring-Summer 2012





Marvel: Are you ready for the GOD of motherFUCKING THUNDER?????? He’s six feet of RAW MUSCLE and his hobbies include SMASHING things with a HUGE, MAGIC HAMMER and being a generally SEXY BEAST

The fandom: 

10/10 gif usage

The funniest thing is I imagine Diana and Thor would get along very well, and bond over their dads being the head honchos of the gods. Also lightning and thunder! Diana would probably be like a slightly exasperated big sister to Thor at times. Oh and she can 100% lift Mjolnir and wield Stormbreaker.

and we all know how Thor feels about female warriors. he would think Diana is the absolute coolest

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[Image Description: A dark purple color block with text that reads “bisexual genderqueer pride”]

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